figment
06.04.2006., četvrtak
(hair)dos and (hair)don'ts
There's nothing in the way I walk that could tell you where I'm going, There's nothing in the words I speak that can betray anything I'm knowing, Don't think about the way I dress, you can fit me on a labelled shelf, Don't pretend that you know me 'cause I don't even know myself, Oh I don't know myself. I don't mind if you try once in a while, I don't mind if I cry once in a while, The doors aren't shut as tight as they might seem, I'm just trying to fight my way out of this dream. Don't listen to the words I say, weighing up if I'm enlightened, Don't shiver as you pass me by, 'cause mister I'm the one who's frightened, The police just came and left, they wanted me and no one else, Don't pretend that you know me 'cause I don't even know myself, I said I don't know myself. I don't mind if you try once in a while, I don't mind if I cry once in a while, The doors aren't shut as tight as they might seem, I'm just trying to fight my way out of this dream. Do you remember me, I don't remember you, Do you still love me, you know I think you do, I have been gone, and some prison warder knows my scream, I'm just trying to fight my way out of this dream. There's only five who know my real name, And my mother don't believe they know it, What she called me is the way I'm staying, And no one'll ever know it, Come on all of you big boys, come on all of you elves, Don't pretend that you know me 'cause I don't even know myself, I said I don't know myself. I don't mind if you try once in a while, And I don't mind if I cry once in a while. (The Who) Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches. (andy the Warhol) |
03.04.2006., ponedjeljak
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i'm speaking from a little box, very neatly tagged and placed strategically upon a high shelf.
only thing is, i can't remember leaving it there. maybe that's because it's always been that way...and i was a fool to think...well, anything. windows are neither created nor opened by cutting pictures from magazines and glueing them on walls... the verdict: eighteen, clumsy and shy. introverted, lonely and over-sensitive. why does everybody except me seem to have some sort of instruction manual for life? most of them are missing quite a few pages... but still, i'd be grateful, it would give me at least a vague idea of what this is all about... whenever i speak, something breaks... in turn, you'd say: so what, it wasn't that much of a heart anyway, it was only a mirror, and there are plenty of those... (i'm trying to figure out which part exactly i misheard...) otherwise: ...is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse? (bruce springsteen, the river) |
26.03.2006., nedjelja
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...kako je sve to u biti jednostavno (ali, što ne znači lako)... jedino što tražimo kroz sve u životu je: netko koga ćemo voljeti, i netko koga ćemo okriviti za svoje postupke... te dvije osobe. (često i jedna...) bez obzira što radili. u tom smislu je "11 minuta" silno poučna knjiga. i kad pitaš za savjet, nije uopće naglasak na tome što druga osoba misli... već da poslije možeš, kad sve ode u vražju mater, sam sebe uvjeriti da je tak završilo zbog tuđe sugestije... a sve mi se čini da ja neću za 2 mjeseca moći početi razmišljati, kako sam se nadala... možda za godinu i toliko... and perhaps the sky is green and we're all colour-blind... and perhaps...just perhaps...ukradem nešto što mi oduvijek pripada, do fascinantnog momenta kad anamarija idući put bude slagala ormar :) ima tih perhapsova puno...k'o čačkalica, jelda anamarija? btw, ružo, nećeš vjerovati, našla sam nekaj čega nema na cijelom črnomercu... :) |
19.03.2006., nedjelja
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anamarija: evo ti spomenute slikice. na njoj vidiš micka i biancu jagger. na dan njihovog vjenčanja. nije slikica bogznakaj, ali dovoljno da vidiš koliko su slični. praktički identični, ne? a skupa su izdržali jedva 7 godina... to je još i puno za taj glamurozni svijet, ali prilično malo u usporedbi s vječnošću... teorija ti baš ne drži vodu...  udavila sam još jedan dan zato što je bio mekan. kao plastelin i dao se zgnječiti i pretvoriti u nešto što mi naizgled treba. i obilno ispuniti ničime. baš fino. sve se prelako raspada. polako se topi ko sladoled. i lijepi. dan za dan za tjedan za život... treba mi lajna za ovakve nedjelje... i brnjica za preko tjedna ( i ja znam misliti unaprijed :)). ovo je iz jučerašnjeg filma. heartwarming, heartbreaking... tako bih voljela dan-dva u životu crno-bijele merlinke... probuditi se usred divljine, izaći van, udahnuti prirodu, pogled odavde do vječnosti... uloviti kauboja, i raspustiti konje neka trče po pustinji Nevada... kud ćeš više :)  pouka ove basne: kuhati nije teško, ako znate šta! |
12.03.2006., nedjelja
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... što znači kada satima gledaš kroz strop, i zazivaš-izazivaš neku patetiku, a nastanu tek dvije riječi? GENOCID ISTINE. i had a prophetic dream, i izgleda da bih tako trebala nazvati svoj punk bend. :) na stranu to što ja nisam, niti namjeravam biti u nekakvom punk bendu... bašMeBriga. :) moj ne-bend se tako zove. i saksofonist se slaže. :) random: quakerska vjenčanja su, za mene, nekako najbliže smislu takvog rituala. nema kiča, razmetanja, lažnog blještavila. nema ni službene njuške matičara/svećenika/... . mlada i mladoženja, kao i ostali okupljeni, sjede u tišini. sami odlučuju, kad osjete pravi trenutak, progovoriti i izmijeniti zavjete. pošto nema službenika, mladenci sami sebe proglašavaju vjenčanima nakon čega potpisuju vjenčani certifikat. to je dokument izrađen na papirusu i pomno ukrašen kaligrafijom po izboru mladenaca, na kojem su zapisani njihovi zavjeti. na taj se certifikat zatim potpisuju i svi uzvanici, i tako se dobiva jedinstvena uspomena. naravno, ima i prije i poslije nekih formalnosti za srediti, ali sam događaj je od svega oslobođen... dojmila me se ta ideja tišine... to je to. osoba s kojom ćeš dijeliti život mora biti netko s kim možeš šutjeti. ne razumiješ li tu osobu u tišini, nećeš je razumjeti ni u kakvim riječima... no matter what i say or do, i'm still a hopeless soppy romantic at heart after all... so what? :P |
10.03.2006., petak
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... doista. lijepo sam sve posložila. lundi je parle francais, on tuesday i speak english a u srijedu sam opet crv. podložan i lako zgazljiv i koji će i bilo kakav tračak ambicije skupo platiti... koliko toga mogu!!! u međuvremenu...zavaravam se da neko "međuvrijeme" postoji, pa se na kredit bavim ovakvim zezancijama...  You are Could You Be Loved. You are an independent person with firm beliefs and strong opinions. Even when it seems like the entire world is against you, you keep on going. You may have a rough time about it, but you always stay true to yourself in the end. Which of these Bob Marley songs are you? brought to you by Quizilla |
